“Things fall apart so that other things can fall together.”
I’ll admit it, it “feels” like things are falling apart, all around me. Going through some trying times in the last few weeks. Shame, inadequacy, self-rejection, anger… four little thieves who have broken into my house. These feelings are real, natural. But the stories that create the feelings? The feelings and bodily responses that then create more stories? NOT TRUE.
I feel a heaviness around my shoulders and a pressure inward at the center of my chest. My eyelids want to stay closed under the womb of my down comforter and warm bed. And all my energy flows outward into the mystery, leaving me feeling exhausted even after 9 hours of sleep.
All of this is real. The story I create that things are falling apart, that I’m falling apart? NOT TRUE.
Two Stories and A Confession
First story: “I’m a therapist and life mentor. I should have my act together.” 
Ugh. I’ve just made myself wrong for simply being human. Ever wonder how often you make yourself wrong just for being what you are? Human, fallible, needy, tender, afraid? Really, check in with yourself about this. Our stories are real, but NOT TRUE.
Second story: “There’s something wrong with me.”
Blech. My shoulders sag, my eyes flit towards the ground, and then I’m sent shrinking into lonely retreat. All real: the story, my body’s response, but NOT TRUE.
Confession: I share my process with you despite every survival instinct that says, “Don’t do it! People will lose respect for you, think you don’t know what the hell you’re doing…” (yet another story.) I’m willing to risk that.
I share my process as an invitation to be real, to acknowledge what is and to model how taking the risk to voice our truths liberates us from the manufactured stories (un-truths) that necessarily make us small. I share my process too, because I believe so deeply in the preciousness that is our humanity and the soul’s compelling mission toward wholeness, healing and integration.
It’s a personal act of revolution and spiritual warrior-hood to listen to our pain, practice patience with our tenderness and take the risk of sharing our struggles. In ways both large and small, when we share the realities of our experience, that is ever-changing, dynamic, multi-layered and pieces of our soul’s journey, we can begin to release that which no longer serves our growth.
What IS TRUE.
I do this work because I want to be one of those that walks with you into the dark forest, reminding you of your strength, power, beauty and connection to another.
I do this work because I know that feeling alone in the midst of things falling apart and inner unrest most needs a loving witness and companion for the journey.
I do this work because I believe in freedom, freedom from all that constrains the expression of our true essence.
Don’t you long for the freedom to be and express all of who you are? I do.
The truth is, when we gift ourselves the freedom to be the luminous love that we are, we contribute to bringing about the highest good for person, community and planet.
So, give in. Give in without giving up. Give in to the experience or feeling that discomforts you; let yourself acknowledge its presence fully without needing to escape, avoid, deny or shame yourself for it.
It’s there for a reason: to teach you about the depths of self-love and compassion.
In this moment…
The discomfort and heaviness that began this post, has noticeabley shifted. At the center of my forehead is a buzzing and a lightness. The small stories of my self have dissolved and given way to ease and an “ahhhh” feeling. See? Things HAVE fallen together.
So, I bow to you and thank you for being here. For being MY witness and companion. May I soon return the favor.
In the comments below, please share what IS TRUE for you right now. And if you’re so moved, share this post with others you know who could use a little self-loving Truth Telling.
Massive Gratitude,
M.
Thanks to Tara Brach who introduced the concept of “Real but not true” into my awareness.
